we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
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he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
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I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
So. Much. Porn.
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