can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize