He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high