it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
