How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
