Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
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