i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
