i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
