Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
