For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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