R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
