My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
