When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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