your parents love me but you hate me
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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