Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
