no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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