WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize