I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
