question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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