So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
