dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
