just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
