I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
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I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
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My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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