my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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