sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
