you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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