Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
