I think I am morally bankrupt
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
