Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
