What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
