Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
