I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
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