I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
