i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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