i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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