There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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