mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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