she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
