haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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