just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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