but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize