Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
