found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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