Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
