Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Only a mothe r could love this liver
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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