I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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