Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
