Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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