i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
