Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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