Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
