If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
