Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
