Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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