My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
