She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
