It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
