i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize