it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
