Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
