Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
