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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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