My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize