spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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