i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
