so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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